Charlotte Ramberg, LPC
Are People Ready for the Wedding and Not the Marriage?
Updated: Feb 25, 2020
First off, Happy Valentine's Day to everyone!! I hope that even if you don't get to spend today celebrating romantic love with someone special, that you can celebrate self love and do something to take care of yourself. I will spending the today with my two children!
I came across this article the other day (https:soforeverloved.com/divorces/) and thought it was rather interesting and had a great point. Many sources cite that the divorce rate among first marriages is around 50%, while others are now saying it may be over 50% in some cases. Why is this?
There are many reasons why people get divorced. You can list things like finances, infidelity, lack of communication, lack of equality in the relationship, arguing to much, domestic abuse/violence, and lack or preparation for marriage. That last one I think is important because for me lack of preparation can probably account for the majority of the other reasons.
Millennials are changing some of the previous statistics because they are waiting longer to marry or have kids. But, lets stick with this idea of lack of preparation for marriage. You will never know what it's like to be married and share a life with someone until you do it, but there are some 'old school' ways to prep for a big change like this.
Many clients I work with harp on the idea of having a spouse, a family, a house of their own, and so on. The issue I see stems from social media and media in general advertising weddings, wedding dresses, the 'perfect' house, etc. Many people are looking to check something off on their life list that we often miss things like the compatibility with the person we're marrying.
Just remember, in the age of social media we see a highlight reel of people's lives. People often don't post or share the difficult and dirty aspects of their lives they experience behind closed doors. Prepare for the marriage, the marathon. Part of that is self love!
If you'd like to hear more about these 'old school' ways to prepare for a marriage, lets chat!